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I remember being happy to hear her say that but at the same time Iwas threatened by the fact that she'd said they had chemistry, andthat I knew he'd tried to sleep with her. I also knew who he was.He was an athlete at our school and I knew he was good looking andwas popular, both with the men and the women. As I looked back Iremember having the same feeling I had when she was with Rob. Yearsago I had chalked it up to jealousy, but now I realized it wasmore. Maybe Jennifer had settled for me because she knew I was niceand would always be there for her. But maybe she had been missing"chemistry" for years. I was now realizing that maybe we both had been denying certainfeelings for some time. Jennifer had been open enough to accept me,and I knew I needed to return the favor. I took comfort in the factthat in the end I knew she would choose our relationship overphysical attraction. I was beginning to feel confident in ourrelationship again, and it felt great. About a week later we were. And it is that life now that seems strange, and the one I have here that grows real.Much is because of Linda. I have never before been so close to any woman, to any person. Part is because we are so much together, but in wintertime I was often many days with M’kamba all time and with others too and there was never this feeling in me. With Linda I feel right in myself, my life is complete in a way I have never known before. We make love often, and each time seems new and more filling than the time before.But I grow easier, too, with the world as it has become and with the things of living that surround me. The speech, the language becomes more natural to me, and even my thoughts begin to be in these words rather than the words I learned as a child. And I grow accustomed to the many things, the machines and other tools that are all around me.Linda and I go more times to the town that is nearby. “Nearby”—I laugh to myself when I realize how easily I may now say this of a place that in.
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